The Joker's Daughter
by batemandarko
Summary: Yes, you've heard it before. The kid meets their father for the first time in years, then the crying and the hugs and the playing catch. Well this isn't the Hallmark Channel so if that's what you're looking for then you came to the wrong place. Wish her luck, she just found out her father is the Joker.
1. Happy Birthday

Boo!"

My heart leaped. I turned around. "Godammit Carrie!"

"I'm sorry," she said, blushing.

"It's okay but you gave me a fucking heart attack."

Carrie Kelly. The kid who is about four feet shorter than she should be and does nothing but play Club Penguin. She is also quite fond of me. I don't like it. "Whats with all that makeup and the heels? You going out.. or something?''

"It's my birthday." She looked at her shoes. "Look, shouldn't you be with your friends playing Dragon Ball Z or something?"

"Um no actually, I have to study for the state testing today," she said. Shoot. That's today. We said an awkward goodbye and parted ways. I took off my heels and wiped off the eye shadow. She actually made a point. No one ever remembers my birthday. Hell, no one remembers me anyway. Out of all my fake friends, the people who laugh at my jokes, and the people who do me favors. I don't have any real friends. You know like the ones you can call up at 3 in the morning. So what was I dressing up for? As much as I don't give a shit, I'm honestly really depressed. I'm not sure it's worth it, if you know what I mean.

The day went by. Not one balloon for me. At lunch I like to escape school and hang at the mall or something. Maybe today I'll walk to the record store down the street. I passed by stores. Joggers. Joker cultists. Batman... followers?

I made it to the record store, which is unusually empty. Huh. I walked back to school just in time for the state test. I need that score. I waited in line, got my dirty look from the principal, and sat down with my test.

After two hours of lame, we finally got a break. A girl named Rachel asked me if I got number seven and I told her the teacher gave everyone a test booklet. She laughed at my joke but then turned around to her friends and failed to acknowledge me otherwise. So I kind of just sat there until we resumed the test.

Instead, there was a light knocking at the door. Then the sound of a teacher's heels clicking against the ground toward the source. The door swung open.

"We're tes-" Only she was interrupted by the sound of gunfire. I was only paying attention to the word problem on page 24.

A/N: Hope you like! Sorry if the chapter is a lot of scrolling, it looks shorter on my laptop :/ I'm really open to suggestions as to where I should go with this so comment away! I'm planning on adding a lot of characters from the comics. Yeah Jokers coming in the next chapter yay

-batemandarko


	2. Chapter 1: Vous Ne Revez Pas

Everyone's head turned faster than a dog would react to a squirrel. One by one, heavily armed men stormed into the room. I found it quite funny that they were all wearing various clown masks. I saw the fear in everyone else's eyes, but I only felt excitement for a potential change. The men yelled at all the teachers in the room and held guns up to their heads. There was a lot of crying.

Then he walked in. The Joker. Everyone knew damn well who he is. He looked scarier in person than on tv. The room went silent and all you could hear was footsteps. The Joker's footsteps. He smiled and hummed walking toward the middle of the room, despite the nightmares of more than 50 kids coming true. He finally stopped and looked around. "Hello. I'm looking for someone." Another silence.

"I can't believe I trusted a freak like you." I just noticed the principal was now pointing a gun at Joker. He became tense when the Joker approached him. "Oh. I see the problem. You think you're special, don't you." He literally just took the gun from the principal's hand and pointed it toward him instead. That easily. Then he giggled. "In the back of that uh, tiny little mind of yours, behind that humongous ego of yours, you knew this day was coming." What did the principal of a school in a small part of town have anything to trust a terrorist-clown with exactly? I'm confused.

Fireworks. But that's only in my head. In reality, it was a gunshot. I know. Through the principal's head. He flashed a smile and said, "Well wasn't that fun? Now kids, see that's what happens when you try to be a hero." I think Joker has been in Arkham for so long, I don't think the Batman has the slightest clue what is going on. I'm sure someone outside this auditorium has noticed that the doors are locked and that they lost communications with the other teachers in here. I wonder if there's a lockdown happening outside. Ooh. "Anyway," he said. "Like I said, i'm looking for someone. Someone... very special." Wouldn't it be funny if it were me? I guess not. He turned to face an old friend of mine that I hadn't talked to in years. What's so special about her? They all gasped when he pulled out a pocket knife and held it to her.. lips?

"I'm only joking, not you!" He smiled. "Or is it you? No. Maybe You? No, no. I hope it's not you. Definitely not you." He approached a lot of students in the room and freaked them out with the knife for no reason whatsoever because he seemed to know damn well who exactly he was actually looking for. He constantly laughed in the process. I guess he just likes messing with people for the fun of it. Although I couldn't help thinking that there was more to it than that and that all the reporters were wrong about him. My racing mind finally came to a halt when I realized he had made his way right in front of me. To my surprise I felt no fear at all. All eyes were wide on me, but I have nothing to lose anyway. He also appeared to be surprised that I wasn't afraid at all. He just kind of... looked at me. I personally don't think he is a freak.

The Joker himself bent down to my level. "It seems we have a winner." I don't win very much. So that's cool. Is that the wrong way to look at it? The man with the gruesome scars covered in clown makeup took some of this own lipstick and applied it to the sides of my mouth, forming a smile to match his. Oh shit. "Okay! Drop your weapons and head out." All his goons looked at each other in disbelief. I mean, I couldn't see their faces but they look like this wasn't the plan. "Well what are you waiting for? Would you rather die in here or out there?" Most of them tried to shoot at the Joker, but he just laughed and told them none of their weapons were loaded in the first place. All of them waltzed to the door. They counted to three and pushed the door open with their hands up. For a slight second, I saw a swat team that facing the auditorium, armed. Before exiting he turned around to me and said, "Oh, and by the way, Happy Birthday." Smiling, the Joker left after them.

Right away, all the teachers aided the scared shitless kids once they were all gone. The swat team came in and asked if we were okay. I don't get it. It's obvious he wanted to get caught.

...

So that's the first official chapter. BTW the title of this one roughly translates to ''You are not dreaming" in French. Sorry for the long chapter, the idea has been in my head for so long it's only been expanding.

-batemandarko


	3. Chapter 2: Dance With The Devil

The team loaded most of us on to a van to the GCPD, for those of us who couldn't handle it or who needed to be brought in for further questioning. The rest stayed behind to get picked up or to be questioned too. They saw the red smile of lipstick on my face, marking me as important. The whole frickin ride there I felt eyes on me. It was a cop. "Can I help you?" This made him smirk and me feel more uncomfortable in the old crusty seats of the van. "No- i'm sorry it's just- I've heard so much about you and here you are. Boss told me I could trust you, but I don't want to ruin the surprise." It's true. He can trust me. I could get freaked out and ask a whole bunch of questions, but I like where all this is going. I simply smiled at him. I always believed that a smile says more than words. Plus he had long brown hair and weird socks, what's not to like? "What's your name?'' I asked. "Spencer", he replied. "Spencer Reid."

"So, Mr. Reid, the Commissioners got a surprise for me?"

"Ah- no not the commissioner. That's the surprise."

Well. I think we have ourselves a dirty cop. Interesting. Maybe he's working for one of the Falcones or something. That would be interesting too. I never did like cops anyway. I could rat him out, but I think my life may actually become... fun. After probably 15 minutes of my heart racing, we arrived at the Gotham City Police Department. I exited the van and saw more than twenty of my classmates in tears hugging their parents who were already waiting for them in the parking lot. But God- all that emotion. I watched how tightly the hands of each parent gripped onto their children's teenage bodies. Just the look on their faces of care and worry. And the kids. Feeling safe. I'll never know what that's like. Ha. The bus didn't belong to the GCPD I guess because it rolled away. Spencer gave me a kind look and lead me into the building.

"Do you mind waiting in here for a little bit? I think your dad's here." MY dad? You mean the one who is constantly 'working?' Or did you mean my extremely depressed mother who does nothing but sits at home and watches tv?

"That. Joke. Isn't. Funny," I told him. Is he just here to make me feel like shit? Am I getting punk'd? Where's my surprise?

"Right okay, do you want any wat-"

"Who do you work for?" I cut right to the chase. "Look. Promise me you'll just stay put for now," I stayed silent. He motioned toward a cramped, disgustingly pink room full of stuffed animals and toys. I turned around to him with the 'are you fucking serious' look in my face, but the door was already closing and he had left. I guess this is where he's obligated to hold me. I picked out a small green kid table to sit on. I'm fourteen. Really? At least that tiny tv was playing Spongebob in the back. When I sat I felt something in my pocket. I forgot I had my old iPod in my pocket. I put on my ear buds and played Sonic Youth. I just sat there in my thoughts for a solid 20 minutes until I noticed a camera in the corner. Were they watching me? You know what else I noticed? There was a tear coming down my face. This is all bullshit. I feel cheated.

I heard the door swing open. I was relieved I thought it was Spencer. Instead an older man in a suit stood at the door. He had so much fear in his eyes. I quickly wiped my face while he kneeled to my level.

"How are you?" He asked. I just nodded. "I'm Commissioner James Gordon. You must be Alethia Napier." I nodded again. He handed me a cloth for my face. "Listen, sweetie, we have some important information we need to tell you, but I believe you should talk to someone first. I promise you if you can't handle it, you can just walk right out the door and I'll be there. Deal?" Maybe this is my surprise. Although he doesn't seem to be on the same page with Spencer. After all, he did say he didn't work for the Commissioner. I accepted and followed the Commissioner out. On the way, many cops and detectives smiled at me nervously. What.

He opened another door to what looked like one of those investigation rooms I always see on tv. It had a table and some chairs. A big one way window. Yeah. Except it had one difference. Heavily armed men stood at the corners of the room. Handcuffed, The Joker sat at the table, sitting across from me. Smiling.

"I'm right outside. Remember that," Gordon reminded me. It felt like I missed a step in the stairs when he exited. It's funny i'm usually not intimidated by anyone. Anyone. It wasn't even the scars or the makeup that made my heart drop. Do I turn around? Jesus he was staring right at me.

I decided to sit at the table. I sat there uncomfortably waiting for him to say something. He leaned in closer. We just stared at each other for a while until I broke the silence with a slight giggle. Then he started laughing. We just laughed and laughed and laughed until we cried because of how stupid we looked. Or at least that's why I was laughing. It's been a long time since I smiled. No, like actually smiled. With pure joy. We stopped laughing and he looked at me again. "You kept the lipstick on," with that signature smile and deep voice. "I um.. how did you know my birthday?"

"Well I think every father knows their kid's birthday." He said this in a manner that made me the stupid one. I changed my mind. I think I was wrong and he is just a loon. I unfortunately already have a dad. I called bullshit, stood up, and headed toward the door. What was the point of that? Did every other kid have to talk to him too? When I got to the door I didn't open it yet. I stopped. "Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"Unfortunately it all is my dear." Whatever. Just one bad day. .0001 percent of my life. That's how I wish I could look at it. I opened the door to find Gordon, like he promised. The Commissioner put his hand on my shoulder, but I couldn't help looking back. The Joker. He was still smiling at me. But this time, it was in more of a devious way. While Gordon walked me back, I noticed Spencer. I smiled at him and he winked at me. My smile quickly faded when he pulled out a pistol and began shooting everyone there. Detectives, cops. I was not worried he'd shoot me. An unspoken trust I guess. Then more 'cops' pulled out guns and shot at what looked like a select few people. Who did Spencer work for then? Joker? Today was just full of questions.

I watched it all almost in slow motion as the Commissioner shielded me and tried to run me to somewhere safe. Papers and blood everywhere. Someone came up behind Gordon and quickly knocked him out with one blow to the head with the gun. I don't know how me managed to do it, but it was The Joker. "Quickly. Run outside and there'll be a grey van right in the front parking lot. Get in." He handed me a pocket knife. "Just in case." He laughed manically and fled away.

I actually followed his instructions because, well, it seems as though it's actually me who's breaking out of prison. I found the van and hopped inside. The adrenaline rush made me yell "You my Uber?!" I joked. The driver in the mask laughed and drove off.

...

Well that escaladed quickly. You get my metaphor right? About the breaking from prison? And that it's her? Ok. Thanks for sticking around even through this long ass chapter! I promise you even minor details that don't seem to have any meaning, I put there for a reason. Yeah you'll be seeing more of the Joker because I know that's probably the main reason you're here. I'm aware that the way I write is different. Well that's because i'm going for very vivid images to um. Spawn? In the reader's head. It gives it that strong realism. To take you away from whatever your'e doing now like a good, a real story should. I'm going to shut up now.

-batemandarko

(p.s. Thank you much for your amazing feedback it really, really motivates me to write more. Comment anything you'd like to see in future chapters of the story and i'll consider it! Keep sharing, voting, and commenting! Love ya'll)


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